Life and Literature

     

 I met a crazy last night Never would i have thought crazy looked like that Tall, dark and slender with sand in his hair  I met crazy lastnight and it blew me away  Kind,  funny and mysterious  I met crazy on a long lonely road,  with the sun behind me and a soft breeze enveloping me on every side. I had a conversation with crazy and it was enlightening We spoke about life, love and beauty  Along the way,  we picked up a friend on the bend of the road  Crazy honked with excitement Friend was worried for crazy and i could feel it, the sign and stern looks,  the dampen feeling of hopelessness  Nevertheless crazy drove fast without his hand on the wheel and adviced to fasten our belts so he could go faster.  That put a smile on my face after all crazy had a fascinating vibe I met crazy last night and man!  I am lost for words. 

  Perfect they say is a number Do we know what really perfect is?  One i am yet to understand Let me tell you how it happened The end, the beginning, the story Ours isn't one of tragedies because for that to happened we had to have lost Ours isn't a fairy tale too because there is no happy ending We collided more liked crushed and the stars aligned We stuck together almost on the edge of your nightmares Fueled by fear, of the devil inside Constantly finding yourselves, yet loosing it in each other Envied by others for thier lack of understanding  Salted tears, silent screams, hidden joy Love i think it was called True they described

I am beautifully diverse in a way that confuse people. They tend to think I am Broken May be I might have been Now though I see my self  as a Chinese bowl Cracked but mended Broken, put together  I see myself with spots of gold No longer worthless Now vulnerable yet valuable You can choose to see the cracks like I used to I don't really mind Let me tell you though I have always found perception a beautiful thing even when I couldn't locate the broken pieces Being mended with gold has made that view even more beautiful. You can always choose to see the cracks Now stare, focus on the gold Tell me what do you see? 

I'm just a fundamentally cold unfeeling person Am doing just fine, they see  Don't make me a promise People break their promises to me all the time What I love though is believing...  Believing that eventually someone will keep them Don't worry if that someone isn't you Sometimes I don't even think it me. Bridges that were meant to pull us use Help us further apart offering no words but the company of solitude We were happy once  The eyes catching glimpses of each other in full rooms The hand holding when it meant something  We were once the talked about love of the town.  Rejoice with the happy couple, Ticking clock timed them out centeries before they begun. 

  Indulge me; we all believe the creation story; well those of us who do. Have you taken time to analyze it. 2 separate '' humans '' created, well... Some say 1 but I say 2. 2 trees in the middle of the garden, with 4 rivers. Who won't be tempted?  Beauty is a sight for sore eyes they say. And God saw that it was good. Isn't that interesting... God really isn't the poster boy for certainty amidst the choices he gives us, but one would think he knows; at least what is good.  The earth they say was without form and was filled with darkenes... Hmmm....  Again how do you identify darkness. You see I think the concept of day and night derived from the nonexistent of light where darkness was indenfied makes creationism interesting.  Back on the topic of the humans, wait let's do the tress first.  1 tree on life, how interesting that's tree number 1. 2 tree of good and evil !?.. No wait.. Tree of Knowledge of good and evil and some how a reptile that what i...

The moment we met can be recounted as chance. The gods designed that we met in a scenario like most stories be it so romantic it became tragic or so tragically romantic it lived forever. Unlike these stories though we are alive. Weaving the threads together day in and out I dared me to believe in us.  That's just because there need to  Be a stronger will than I have..  I believe sometimes that it will happen for me Strangely enough I feel the distance every day  Knowing that this time am trying  At I think I am...  I dare you to believe in us This though is the love we signed up for to be there and fight even when we no longer have the strength to. The perception of each other's lives in each other's eyes. I see that you think you try; see that I want to but don't  I dare me to believe in us.  Knowing that this time am trying  At I think I am...  I dare you to believe in us

I enjoy the touch of your lips against my body. Sometimes touching myself in imagination of that. Getting so wet but I thought self control to myself Literally in pain as I get drenched and yet physically push you away. Wanting to be vulnerable with you Adventurous with you When you say you want to touch me, I smile shyly Speaking eludes me All I can think off is your touch Your tender kisses, rough hands Searching, waiting for approval You discern this and proceed more hungrily yet cautiously to share your pleasure with me. 

Cannot break through the shell you placed me in Always told myself love wasn't made for me This feeling boxes you in Throws away the key by it self But I loved love.  You see; that is confusing and I know The air we breath; the smile across my lips The look that draws you in That?, that for me is love. I wonder why you tried so hard to prove me right The tongue can not help but speak the words The body just feels The heart though is in no wrong but doing it's job. It is the soul. That free and damming thing That's the one The one that battles That the man that jails you. You share no part in the guilt it presents All you did was draw me in I get it; Don't get me wrong Stated clearly you will make no promises The realist in me adored that Here I am trying to figure out who put me in this ice box Imagine being pulled into a whirlwind Freezing with no blanket of words or comfort A friend though I find at the buttom of my misery Wor...

Find myself texting you more often than not What I do with the rest of my time is think of you Not necessarily why I ended things Nor was it the fact that I was OK not hearing from you. I usually chunk it to knowing it was over before either of us took action. True if I dare say so myself Though, that thing where my heart skips a beat when I caught a glimpse of you Or the sheepish smile when I see an item I thought you would love That thing is annoying. You have made an impact in my life Whether I care to admit it or not I learn a little piece about me with each of you. But I never seem to hold on to anybody I doubt I have ever wanted to. Don't blame yourself too much Not that you did or you would ever Just that if the thought did occur Refrain from holding on to it. I would love to know sometimes that it did. It will be my pleasure to know someday you lived a full life

There is beauty to be seen. We like to see the evil and be blind to it. Beauty as we know it goes beyond. The scars? I inherited them, Patches them up So i can be called beautiful  Is it in your desolate nature? Or the stacks of clothing i cannot get behind  Pilling on the very existence that is us  Lost, lost indeed Find me, Finding who i am Do not look at the algae There is always an untold story Just ask How at all ages Pain comforts.

Remember the first day you touched me?  I do faintly. Your voice was coarse and smooth Your hands did not shake when it glazed over my skin The memory of sweet and clean pungent smell As you rubbed it on yourself The noise as the strokes became faster The feel of you trying your possible best to push. I try to forget but it was not the first time and today I decided not to fight back. Somehow I was starting to get used to the idea. Welcoming and looking forward to it even. Knowing, expecting and being disappointed when you were not around when I got back. I did not fully comprehend what was happening but the guilt would not leave me. My ear had heard the threatening words so much so that I wasn't afraid to tell. Instead I hated you and yet I wanted to protect you when everything I could hold on to. I was exposed beyond healing, and somehow i felt unimprisoned.

I have become so desperate to hear the words i love you To have some one show me Their meaning of love I cannot figure out why It may seem it was not said to me enough as a child Maybe it was neither expressed as well nor was i allowed to express it. Do i even understand what love is? I crave a feeling, An emotion i do not understand Barely holding on to my sanity Looking around for flimsy excuses I tell myself i can also be loved Looking for this tangible intangible emotion everywhere Once bitten twice shy is a phrase i am yet to understand Everyone keeps taking a bite out of me Am only happy to oblige hearing the words 'i love  you'. If at any point i feel a connection One i understand; i will gladly lay my self to be used as my captive prefers. What are you Who are you Why can i not be without you Where is the essence of you I want to want you back Only you were never gone

Sometimes i loose all myself reassurance Sometimes i feel like it's a little odd, you know ... You met me and i was strong and bold And i am strong and bold don't get me wrong It's just with you i recoil, recoiling into my shell The shell that i didn't even know that i had I am shaken when i see you and When i don't see you i go crazy. I know if you had asked me a couple of years ago; I would never had thought i was jealous But i know now, i am. And i know i have a jealousy, but then A calm and calculating jealousy And am afraid of it. I'm afraid i can find something out and keep it Keep it because at a point i don't want to hurt you At a point i don't want to hurt myself Crazy i know How much i love you so much that sometimes i don't even consider myself. Seeing how i become undone with insecurities Anyone looking in would not figure how, How fragile a touch from you makes me. Reveal yourself Reveal the you i cannot get behi...

I wished with all 10 stars you would not say hello The day i met you Keep trying to put things right or maybe off Though all these scenarios are in my head Doubt you know this; i tried to avoid you l know now, stars are not worth my trust Hello you said Followed the easiness and laughter like i have known you all my life All i could think about is, if i really was doing this. Saying yes Yes to an adventure, One i am scared off Stuck in my favorite place between sleep The place of uncertainty Again, that too is my favorite place That is my calmness Today though there is this sweet feeling that calls to me You seem to be my comfort Glad i met you. Today the adventure really was complete Butterflies refuse to settle Knowing my favorite place is safe Always say yes I woke up this morning with butterflies But that is to assume i slept at all Funny, but it really It is not

It is not usually for the faint of heart when bravery is spoken off. Most days i cant help but think if it was not for the brave Then again we all have the capacity to step forward when needed Only there is someone who is always ready Ready like they have prepared for this their whole life Yet we seldom fail to understand that the courage that brings us forth usually come through many forms. My bravery could be as a result of experience Yours could be the encouragement you have be exposed to Then again courage is a sense Who could have thought Thought that for all we put ourselves through bravery is a sense. The inkling that i can do it That i will step out of my fear Being brave has nothing to do with not being afraid We only say bring it on when fear knocks.

 Is it in your desolate nature? Or the stacks of clothing i cannot get behind  Pilling on the very existence that is us Lost, lost indeed Find me, Finding who i am Do not look at the algae There is always an untold story Just ask. There is always i helping hand

I call to you But you hear me not Biting the very bare skin Needing to awaken Time is run out Holding my very breathe Just so i can live Hold my hand Smile back at me I am not afraid of you Reveal yourself Embrace me Let us become one.

Deserted heart, I know some think forever mostly, with and for that special throbbing, that one hammering peace, stillness and acceptance. If it wasn't for the pain others seem to inflict on ourselves They will realize we preclude and seclude our inner most person All the while trying to seduce you. We cause you to assume the embodiment of perfection. Today i profess my love for you Today i take care of me

Eii,eii, is it my own Ogunu you are talking about. The bravest of the brave. Ogunu whose mothers labour pains started at the first cry of thunder on the sacred market day Born to the most beautiful maiden, fourth wife of Ayite the hunter I have seen Ogunu and you have heard the stories The boy had a way with women even at a tender age I have seen Ogunu Bathing in the Ikeja river and I can speak of his manhood One that makes the gods proud. Amina I heard told Nazab that Ogunu was too much of a man for her Nazab and Ayina confessed the same I suspect his prowess is fading Aku and Sanem were not moved by their sessions Ogunu whose first cry was heard at the beginning of the rain storm. He must be brought forward. He must show us he his still a man without fermented palm wine He must show the gods still favour him Ogunu,Ogunu... Show your face