BROKEN I



Remember the first day you touched me?
 I do faintly.
Your voice was coarse and smooth
Your hands did not shake when it glazed over my skin
The memory of sweet and clean pungent smell
As you rubbed it on yourself
The noise as the strokes became faster
The feel of you trying your possible best to push.
I try to forget but it was not the first time and today I decided not to fight back.
Somehow I was starting to get used to the idea.
Welcoming and looking forward to it even.
Knowing, expecting and being disappointed when you were not around when I got back.
I did not fully comprehend what was happening but the guilt would not leave me.
My ear had heard the threatening words so much so that I wasn't afraid to tell.
Instead I hated you and yet I wanted to protect you when everything I could hold on to.
I was exposed beyond healing, and somehow i felt unimprisoned.


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