Life and Literature

If I tell you the story of where am coming from You won't believe me If I tell you the tears and silent whispers my room, bed and pillows has and is still encountering You will not believe me The pain of dejection Agony of being left The sorrow that no one knows about If I tell you everything is fine That you will believe We never want to be there for the pain Am suicidal And every one looks on Finding fault Pointing fingers Am a failure Not a single face of comfort My friend here is disassociation Tears on your face can hardly be identified As the mask is glued to an unidentified face Who are we Look beyond the scare

I was affected in such a short period of time not knowing what this was The fear alone knowing that I could shutter but letting go anyway Beating in am unimaginable rhythm my heart once cold you came with a rush The withdrawal symptoms of the drug I no longer take Amidst the tears and unruly laughter still is the heaving uneven rhythm Sound that's now so loud it deafening Trying desperately to control the breath My limbs are dead That feeling when you can see the storm and know it is time Running away in your dreams and visions In reality the compact of the pain is so compounded with no lifts available to set free Hush...

I came to you with a heart full of knowledge of the fact that I wanted to be challenged by you I could not have imagined the depth of emptiness you filled without knowing it there The peace that captured my heart was imaginable  in this time where I had given up on the hope of safety I did not have butterflies cause there was assurance of the love in your touch,  actions and words This was so effortless like I had thought it would be and yet felt a dream

Sometimes i loose my way Not taking the right steps even when seeing ahead I have learned to stumble and not fall Trust in You Set in stone is an inevitable future i can't hide from Where do i turn, i ask I have hope in You

When God is about doing something with you He prepares you Through a series of test, making sure you are ready for the victory coming your way, victory is not for the weak at heart, but those who have trusted and waited Learn to plant your faith so it might grow Give with Content Pray for yourself and household Let every indication of your being be right with the lord Perfection is not what to strive for Love is a gift shared not withheld Mistakes are forgiven and corrected Elders are for directions Own a Good Book and use it more The test of life are to guide your steps not cripple you Time is not never your friend  Don't arrange your life on a Domino Board

Thinking to myself how the words always never come out The first time was arrogant just won't trade it hoped this would have been different and easy Figuring out all the emptiness being filled with nothing The closeness always being dreamed off Selfness is a trait cherished Abuse of words lacked Minutes feeling, being days Reality being as far as the sky Scream Trust being the prove of me A smile pricelessly adored When the sting of tears dry before it falls This feeling that isn't pain, not rejection or loneliness The heart beats with rhythm lost When the tunes of music start to fade laying on the slab staring at the stars  thought only you can provide Love once felt

realized, not that just did? But thought it would change overtime With affection and love Erasing the insecurities just came off as desperate Not intentions had Wanted the flowing smiles of easiness Wanted the courage to break walls Instead felt like red carpet of glass Carefully maneuvering my way through rubbers beneath my feet not solid enough It not the blood am afraid of losing the faith, once carried Slipping through Faith that you had my back The light the shone above the house like hope Now seen deep down the rivers of tears What more is there to ask You Said, Committed, Promised That ALWAYS Was it me? Too scared to find my way? Or just not brave enough to ask for help When you left me all alone Where was I to go When the trust in you started to fade There was no words  wished Job wavered Could have Boldly said it's on you You test us knowing the outcome